Dear Grandpa,
Things are not going well between Mom, Dad, and me. They want me to stop being friends with Mckenna. They were okay with her before she got involved in Buddhism. Now they think she's a bad influence. That is so unfair! Good friends are not easy to find. There's nobody else in my whole school I'd rather hang out with. Help!
I love you.
Denali

Dear Denali:
Mckenna has taken an interest in Buddhism? Wow! When I last talked with you, Mckenna wasn't interested in anything spiritual.

But I'd rather not write about Mckenna right now. You seem more concerned about your mom and dad. I understand. A good friend is a treasure. Friends help heal life's hurts and heighten life's happinesses. I am sorry your friendship with Mckenna is threatened by your parents' fears. Yet think beyond this friendship to another consideration. That's the babysitter factor.

One Friday night when your mother was in early grade school, Grandma and I went out for the evening. Since your mother and Aunt Jackie and Aunt Susan were not old enough to stay home on their own, we hired Melinda from across the street to sit with them. Melinda was about your age, 15 or 16. Our girls had never given a sitter a hard time—not before or after this. But that night . . .

When we got home, Melinda met us at the door. She sobbed out the story of three disrespectful and disobedient daughters and their relentless terrorist attack.

I don't think you've ever seen your grandpa red-faced with upset. But that night I was. In commando-mode I charged up the stairs. I burst into the girls' bedrooms, and within seconds I had subdued the tiny terrorists. I marched my prisoners of war back downstairs. They duly apologized and were consigned to their bedroom cells—with the promise of appropriate punishment in the morning.

What was the big deal? Why was I so upset? After all, Jackie and Susan and your mother had not disrespected us. Ah, but they had. Grandma and I were the ultimate target of their behavior because Melinda represented us that night.

Our Father in heaven has established a system in our world where he has put a number of babysitters in charge of us. Each of these people functions in his place. Parents are the most important of these representatives. That's why the Fourth Commandment points to them and demands of us, "Honor your father and mother."

But God's Word makes it clear that this honor extends beyond parents. Luther says this commandment means that we will not dishonor or anger our parents and others in authority. That's anyone with responsibility for us. Anyone we answer to or take direction from: professors and principals; shift supervisors and military superiors; police, presidents, and pastors. The obedience and respect we give them is obedience and respect given to God.