Prioritizing marriage and family

They had barely been married two years, and their problems landed them in my study for some counseling. They needed some help.

She went first. "Pastor, it just seems that everything and everyone comes before me. When he gets home from work, the first thing he does is call his coworkers in order to plan out the next day. Then his buddy calls, and they start making plans without ever consulting me. This is not what I signed up for."

I asked, "What have you tried?"

She said, "I don't know what to do, so I usually just call a friend and get out of the house."

"How is that working for you?" I asked.

"Not very well. I think he likes it when I get away so he doesn't have to be near me."

I turned to the husband, "What do you think?"

He said, "I need my downtime and my time with my friends. She just has to understand that."

Uh oh! This couple is headed for real trouble!

Genesis 2:18 kept echoing in my mind: "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." When God made Adam, he made him to need someone—a wife. Adam's suitable helper was not a male buddy, a job, an education, or a hobby. It was a woman who would love him and share life with him. That young wife had a legitimate gripe. We intuitively get married to share our lives to the fullest extent with that one other person. Both husband and wife were made to fulfill each other's deepest need for human companionship. No one and no thing should ever bump our partner from that sacred throne of suitable helper. When something else does come first, our partner feels isolated, cheated, and alone. Mature Christians recognize this marriage principle.

The very first thing this couple had to hear was God's Word about marriage. Many Scriptures offer help, but here you will find one from 1 Peter for your meditation.

1 PETER 3:7-9
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

POINTS TO PONDER
1. List the phrases you see in these passages that would guide a husband in the way he treats his wife.

Answer - The phrases are: be considerate as you live with your wives, respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate, humble.

2. Name five habits of a considerate husband.