Questions & Answers

When God instituted marriage He introduced it with these words: “It is not good for the man to be alone…” (Genesis 2:18).  Companionship is often referred to as the first purpose of a Christian marriage.  That purpose is followed by sexual purity and procreation.  You are rightly concerned about the procreation component of marriage but I counsel you to consider the first purpose of marriage – companionship.

Because of schooling and military service you may find it difficult or impossible to meet that first purpose of marriage.  If you follow the logic of your question, it would appear you will not be able to have much “companionship” time.  As difficult as it might be, you may wish to consider postponing marriage until you can enjoy God’s intent for companionship in marriage.

Sometimes, however, out of a deep affection for each other, and for concerns for mutual sexual purity, you may wish to solidify your relationship by marriage.  If that is the case consider the following concerning birth control:

1. Birth control (artificial forms or natural family planning methods) are our attempts to exercise stewardship over the blessing of having children.  Once married and enjoying sexual intimacy God may still wish for you to have children, even when practicing some form of birth control.  Never surrender your faith in the providence of God and place your trust in your own methods.  If God should still provide you with one or more children even while using birth control, have a heart of faith that accepts the blessing with joy.
2. When considering birth control people often want the most certain method of assuring no birth.  All artificial and natural forms of birth control have failure rates – some more or less than others.  Only abstinence is a 100% certain form of birth control.
3. Natural family planning methods do not introduce any foreign elements into the practice of birth control.  It is an excellent and natural way to monitor fertility cycles and is often used by people who are trying to become pregnant as well as those wishing to avoid pregnancy.
4. Barrier methods (condoms, cervical caps, etc.) are less convenient but do not introduce any chemicals which can be problematic both to the health of the woman or the life of a developing child.
5. Chemical methods (pills, patches, injections, etc.) all operate by three methods according to the manufacturers and the FDA:

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  • Inhibit ovulation so that an egg is not released
  • Prevent or inhibit passage of sperm into the vaginal area by a thickening of the mucous in the cervix
  • Change the lining of the endometrium to prevent implantation or dislodge the implantation of a developing child

It is the third mechanism that is the problem.  Opinions are often sharply divided as to how often or if ever the third mechanism goes into effect.  What we do know for sure is that the third mechanism is listed as a way that chemical birth control can work.  We just do not know how often or whether it acts in that way.  You should be aware of this as you consider your options.  And, always have a very candid discussion with your physician on these matters so that you know exactly what you are using and how it will work.

Again, as you look at the role of marriage in a Christian’s life give careful consideration to the timing.  If you have evaluated all things to assure they are in agreement with God’s Word, than consider the above information as you wrestle with the birth control question.

You can find more information by searching the website of Christian Life Resources (www.christianliferesources.com).